Improving Your Relationship by Playing

When was the last time you and your partner did something fun together? If no answer is coming to mind right away, chances are that it has been too long. Living with another person and splitting the chores and responsibilities of work and running a household can be taxing on a relationship. All work and no play is a quick way to kill passion. Often, people put work and family obligations first only to find that they seem to have neither time nor energy left to connect with their partners in life. Resentment can build because one or both partners begin to feel that they don’t seem to have much in common with their significant other anymore. This could be due to the fact that both of them seem to have endless tasks such as grocery shopping, care maintenance, taking children to events and/or caring for aging parents. Furthermore, when they do start to work on their relationship it seems like MORE WORK! They may seek counseling, read self-help books and work on communication skills. But where is the fun and spontaneity that was once so easy for them? The answer may be simpler than you think.

Think back to when you were first dating your partner. Often the date was structured around some sort of activity. You went dancing, to dinner, to musical events, you joked around, or perhaps you mountain biked together or played tennis. You associated this person with FUN. It is often easier to communicate with one another when you are doing something relaxing. You see a hidden side of your partner blocked from expression by the day in day out tasks and life maintenance activities take up most of your time. You might begin by scheduling a date to do something that you both enjoy. Once per week would be a good start. Make it a priority. After that see where you can sneak in a game, lunch rendezvous or a bath with too many bubbles. Get creative and challenge your partner to try some new sport with you. Take walks, star gaze, or cook up some weird recipe and do it together. The possibilities are endless but your time together is not.

Playing together is a way to build closeness and create wonderful memories that you will cherish. If you have children, make time to play with them. Families that play together are closer and have better communication (not to mention more fun!) than those that don’t. But remember, a more fun-filled, playful relationship probably won’t happen unless you schedule it in. Make playtime with your partner a priority. You may find that you have more time and energy than you thought!